What Change Means

Summary: The concept of change relative to unwanted homosexuality must be seen as involving far more than shifts in sexual attraction. Change could be described as an ongoing path toward wholeness requiring a broad internal revolution in all aspects of life and on all levels of the self.

Throughout this website, we speak of change as a process of growth toward wholeness. This process brings with it continually increasing feelings of fulfillment, joy, and a sense of inner peace, connection, and power.

Wholeness means living life beyond the effects of distressful emotional and psychological conditions. It means reclaiming and integrating all of the strengths and capacities that became lost to us through the soul-splintering effects of abuse and trauma. It means loving ourselves entirely and extending to ourselves patience with our failings, compassion for our pain, and forgiveness of our mistakes. It means seeing ourselves as being fully capable of handling life’s challenges, even while we humbly recognize our limitations, frailties, and vulnerabilities. It means living life with moderation and flexibly balancing our contrasting—or even opposing—desires, wants, needs, and perspectives.

For those working to resolve unwanted homosexuality, wholeness especially means affirming and loving their own masculinity or femininity while appreciating the complementarity of the opposite sex. It means resonating with others of their own sex and remaining fully authentic in their presence. It means feeling entirely at peace with their sexual desires and choices by bringing them into harmony with their goals and values. In short, wholeness means being fully the man or woman they were designed to be.

The change process will be life-long. None of us will ever become entirely whole in this life no matter how long we live. But we believe it is a worthy goal to spend our lives in that pursuit.