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Chapter 4 (continued)
Sexualization (cont.)
Transitional Phase
The term “transitional phase” refers to the period of time when the emotional longings of the reparative drive are changed into sexual longings. It could be described as a process of sexualization or as going from not having your needs met to having them falsely met through sexual behavior and/or fantasy. Nicolosi calls this “the erotic transitional phase.”14(p68)
The transitional phase happens in a different way, at a different time, and to a different degree for each person. For those individuals who have not participated in much same-sex exploratory behavior, this transition could take place over an extended period of time and could even span occasions of heterosexual interests. For those who do become heavily involved in sexual behavior early, either through extensive exploration or through sexual abuse, it is possible that the sexualization of their longings could occur before the longing itself is even recognized. It is even possible that sexual abuse could lead to the kinds of hurts that create the longings.
Two distinct sets of needs arise from the problems experienced in the lives of pre-homosexual boys. The first set of needs is emotional and arises from the lack of strong attachments with other males. Within this set are needs for attachment, affection, intimacy, and dependency. Moberly referred to these as same-sex love needs.3(p17-18) The second set of needs is identificatory and arises from the problems experienced in identity development, which in turn results from the lack of strong attachments during childhood. These two sets of needs become sexualized in different ways and these are discussed below.
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