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Chapter 3 (continued)
Mother and Son (cont.)
General Description of Mothers
Bieber’s study grouped mothers of homosexuals into four main groups. The largest group of mothers (69% of the homosexual group) was described as “close-binding-intimate,” or “CBI.” This type of mother was extraordinarily intimate with her son, who was typically the most significant person in her life, replacing the father as the main object of her love. She behaved seductively toward her son, made him her confidant, and encouraged alienation between father and son. At the same time she was inhibiting, over-controlling, and overprotective—restricting his participation in the usual activities of childhood and adolescence including heterosexual behavior. This type of mother was far less common in the control group, constituting only 32%.8(p47-60) The effects of these mothers on their sons will be discussed below.
Another group was described as “rejecting-minimizing-hostile but not detached.” These mothers shared traits of the “close-binding-intimate” mothers (described above) and also had similar effects on their sons as the “CBI” mothers. These mothers were belittling, rejecting, and humiliating toward their sons, but also binding, attached, and seductive. Sons were unable to figure out their mothers’ true feelings for them, developed a sense of inadequacy and low self-worth, and felt unable to gain the respect of other people, especially women. Seven and one-half percent of the homosexual group mothers, and a comparable percentage of control group mothers, were placed in this category.8(p47, 63-68, 81-82)
A third group was described as “controlling-dominating.” These mothers were egocentric, exploitative, and inconsiderate of their son’s real needs although convinced they had his best interests in mind. They were puritanical and/or frigid and used guilt to control and dominate. The sons became distrustful of these mothers but were unable to defy them because of their profound guilt and so became submissive. This type of mother was more common among the control group (27%) than the homosexual group (8%).8(p71-74, 83)
The other main group of mothers were considered to be “detached” and either “poorly related” or “hostile.” The “poorly related, detached” mothers were basically rejecting though superficially affectionate. They spent little time with their sons and were not overprotective. The sons apparently did not consciously recognize their mothers’ rejection: none hated their mother, several considered themselves her favorite child, and a number respected her. The “hostile-detached” mothers were openly rejecting. They were not affectionate, spent little time with their sons, and were critical and derogatory. The sons mostly hated and feared these mothers. Among the homosexual group, 10% of the mothers were included in the “detached” group, compared with 9% of the control group mothers.9(p47, 68-71)
The other groupings of mothers in the study—comprising, in total, less than 5% of the homosexual group—were “Mother surrogates,” “Unclassifiable,” and “Not remarkable.” Interestingly, the “Not remarkable” group included no mothers from the homosexual group, but 19% of the control group.8(p47)
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